1) Deserted Mental Hospital

Playing the Ouija Board in a deserted mental hospital is asking for trouble. You’ll be tapping into all sorts of negative energies from the past. You could contact the spirits of those who died insane or of those who killed themselves.

2) Cemeteries

How would you feel if someone was playing the Ouija board over your loved ones grave? Wouldn’t you feel a little bit indignant? I know I would.

If you play the Ouija in a cemetery, not only do you risk contacting all sorts of potentially evil spirits but you could be arrested for holding a seance in public.

3) In Your Bedroom

Would you actually want a demon in your bedroom? Would you want to wake up in the middle of the night with a ghost at the foot of your bed threatening to cut your throat if you don’t worship it as a God?

If you ever want to sleep again, it’s advised that you do not play the Ouija in your bedroom.

The ghosts that you encountered in your dreams will enter your reality if you ever try to use the Ouija Board. If you’ve encountered only ‘friendly’ ghosts in your dreams then boy are you in for a surprise when they make the transition. Only then will they show their true nature and it’ll be much too late to go running to Momma to make it all better.

Occultists prefer to try the Ouija Board in houses that aren’t haunted as there are no other spirits who will attempt to intervene during the seance.

This is obviously ludicrous. At no point during the experience does the reader contact Satan. They are purely making the reading up by cleverly analyzing the personality of the subject and then telling them exactly what they want to hear.

With the Ouija Board you are playing into Satan’s hands. It’s unpredictable. You never know how sensitive someone is to the effects of the board until their brain has exploded like a car backfiring and they are lying twitching on the ground like one of those dead Gangstas.

Let it be known that there are no ’safe’ ways to use the Ouija Board, just like their are no safe ways to put a fricking gun to your head and pull on the trigger.

Often the ‘expert’ will be heavily into the New Age and will burn herbs in an attempt to protect your party from any adverse effects from the boards.

What they are really doing is indoctrinating you into the witch craft. Do not stand for it, pick up the herbs immediately and ram them up the person’s ass before yelling ‘Begone Satan!’ at the top of your lungs.

Unless of course you understand the true power of the board, which is designed to corrupt minds and ruin lives.

If someone close to you recently bought a Ouija Board before throwing it away, be sure to praise God as they’ve drastically reduced their chances of coming into contact with The Enemy. Do not question their motives for doing so. They’ll have discarded the Ouija due to a frightful experience or from the insistence of a relative who was concerned about their recent behavior.

If you are thinking about throwing away your Wigi Board, then do it somewhere where no one can retrieve it.  I suggest somewhere remote, like in the depths of a forest. Just be sure to make a quick exit otherwise the spirits from the board could escape into the trees, making the forest come alive.

Generally it depend upon close you are to God. If you’re Saved then the board will speak to you immediately as the Spirit will be desperate to convert you away from God. If you’re an Atheist then it may take up to an answer to receive a response as the Spirit knows you are already one of his own.

If you want to intimidate the board into action then I’d advise you to start praising God in front of it. You could even try reciting the Lord’s prayer whilst thumping the board with your fist with every syllable in order to provoke the strongest response from the Ouija.

Why not pretend to be possessed by your best friends grandfather who is in Hell? State that the afterlife is extremely dark without Jesus and that you’ve been forced into having a sex change by Satan.

Tell him that you’re being ceramonially bum raped by all sorts of dead fascists like Adolf Hitler, Napoleon and John F Kennedy.

This should be enough to convince him that the Ouija is indeed a board of lies.

Depending upon the perservance of the spirit, it may well linger around the bottom of the bowl like a nasty turd. The next person to use your toilet, then stands a massive chance of becoming possessed as the spirit latches onto them whilst they are glued to the toilet.

Do you really want your Grandmother emerging from the restroom with eyes as dark as a sailor, swearing like Satan? Could you live with yourself is she got committed to a mental asylum for losing her mind, when you know deep down that it was your Ouija flushing antics that were the root cause of it?

Be warned too that if you flush it, then it’s possible that you’ll break the toilet and a have to call the plumber out. Then you’ll have some embarrassing questions to answer!

Don’t be fooled otherwise. Something ALWAYS happens during an ouija board session. You must remain as aware as possible. Satan acts in subtle ways…

Even though the planchette may not be moving, Satan could be working through you. He could be working in you as you read this.

Or he could be behind you. In fact it’s important to always check behind you during the seance, in case something is crawling up towards you.

You’ll know Satan is in the room with you when you feel THOSE shivers rising up your back. The ones which feel like someone is walking over your grave.

The angel in this photo will be scarred inside your soul now forever.

Satan IS behind you.

The likelihood of causing a serious fire increases tenfold after such a session. Many have speculated that the demons from the board help to strengthen the fire, making it almost impossible to put out once it has caught hold.

The most terrifying thing about it all is that the people who took part in the seance become pyromaniacs. I’ve seen one guy run into the restroom after playing ouija, returning with several rolls of bathroom tissue, dousing them in gasoline before setting fire to them on the spot just to get a proper inferno going.

Before the session this guy was a God fearing Christian like myself and was never the same after the experience.